Failed!

Look around me
I can see my life before me
Running rings around the way
I used to be. I am older now
I have than what I wanted
But i wish i had started long before I did.
And there’s so much time to make up
Everywhere you turn.
Time we have wasted on the way
So much water moving underneath the bridge
Let the waters come and carry us away.

-CSN
-Wasted On The Way

I blew it.  I had been cooking along and going strong for more than 20 days.  And this was a promise I made to myself.  But in missing a post.  In missing putting something up on Sunday, I realized that sometimes, we need to break promises.  Or more importantly - sometimes, they just get broken.  Real life can be messy - and for a couple of days, mine was.

 This project was supposed to be my escape from the crazy ups-and-downs that dictate my path.  Just yesterday - those peaks and valleys moved me too far from my keyboard.  Was I lazy? Busy?  Misdirected? Preoccupied? Happy? Sad? Sleepy?  Who knows…in some minutes, I was none of them, but seconds later - I was all.

 All I know is that I broke a promise I made to myself.  That’s nothing new.  I do it all the time. I do it about my weight, my friends, my money, my life, my work….the difference is that this time, it’s bothering me. 

Hell - this is a new year (not explaining it.) maybe for once, i’ll just forgive myself.  I’ll forgive myself for missing a post, write it whenever I feel like it, and just slip it in for Sunday.  Maybe I’ll learn how to do it so well that I begin to forgive myself for everything. For jobs and friends and weight and accidents and abused potential. 

So weird.  This time - i didn’t let anyone down but me…i’m used to not caring about that sort of thing…but maybe that’s why it’s bothering me so much.

Older and Wiser, 
-the stranger 

P.S. Fuck spell check!