‘Cause I’m broken
When I’m open

-Broken
-Seether

Yes - I know….
Two lines is NOT really the same
as posting lyrics - Sue me.

I work with a guy who doesn’t believe in luck.  He thinks that some people work hard and earn the right to have things go their way.  Other people just get the short end of the stick because inherently, they are losers and someone needs to be at the bottom of the line.

Frankly - I used to believe that the whole argument was just silly.  SILLY, I TELL YOU!

But, I bought a new car last year.  It was my first new car in 12ish years.  And I was so very thankful to have it.  I love the car….the car loves me.  It’s a special car to me for multiple reasons…none of which have to do with the busty gal who helped me christen it, 2 days after I bought it.  Yes - that’s right, me, and old man -I hooked up in my car.  HA!

Anyway - about a week after I got the car, the tire-pressure light kept coming on. It’s the one that says, “Pull over before you crash and die - you’re about to have a flat tire.”  Well - I never got the flat tire.  Mazda couln’t stop the light from coming on.  They replaced tires, sensors, pressure gauges, and miles and miles of wires.  When all else failed - I called a lawyer.  Mazda offered to replace my car.  I didn’t want a new car.  I wanted MY car. It was just a few months old.  So Mazda gave me a check for $4,000 for my time and my trouble - which I felt was disgustingly large (considering the part that was faulty was $149.) 

As of the payment I made today - my car is 12 months old.  The $4,000 was very well spent, and the light still occasionally comes on as if to say, “Hi, remember me? I paid for your camera, and paid off your Visa.  How ya doing?”  I don’t mind.  It’s comforting - it’s like a little beacon that screams, “Don’t you worry, we’re in this together - if I have to grind the doors off to keep you safe during a crash - I will - these tires will NOT run flat, and we will NOT flip.  I am your car…and you are my driver.  We arrive early at the gates of dawn, and we take no prisoners.”  Wow - not sure where I was headed with that one….

So anyway - I bought a new phone today.  My first new phone in 3+ years.  It’s a gorgeous little Blackberry Curve.  For the first 2 hours - I love it. I was happy…it did every single thing that I wanted the phone to do.

Then the lights stopped working.  It’s basically a plastic brick with little buttons on it.  How Fun.

Maybe tomorrow i’ll buy a watch, and it can explode in my face.  (If I were lucky, like the guy I talked about up top, maybe I’d be able to find a woman to do the same.)

Hey - at least i’m not bored.

Have a great night.
Buy Mazdas - they are amazing and fast and drive like nothing else in their price point.
The jury on Blackberrys, however, is still very much out.

 -The Stranger

Give a moment or two to the angry young man
With his foot in his mouth and his heart in his hand
He’s been stabbed in the back, he’s been misunderstood
It’s a comfort to know his intentions are good.
And he sits in a room with a lock on the door
With his maps and his medals laid out on the floor
And he likes to be known as the angry young man.

-Angry Young Man
 - Billy Joel

I think tonight - bitterness wins. I made a promise to myself that I would publish every night.  And I’m doing that.  If there’s anyone keeping score, know that there’s a lengthy post - it’s in Draft/Unpublished mode.  I had a lot to say tonight - but it wasn’t for everyone.  It was for me.  I wrote.  I did my job.  I kept my promise.  You keep your distance.

I wonder how far anger and sadness can take me - can it go longer and farther than a full take of gas in a 4-banger?  We’ll see….we’ll see.

I went up to the mountain
Because you asked me to
Up over the clouds
To where the sky was blue
I could see all around me
Everywhere
I could see all around me
Everywhere

-Bill Withers
-Up To The Mountain

I took that picture in 1993.  I was in Arizona.  At 5:30 in the morning, that mountain was bare - by noon, snow had started to fall, and by 5 pm, there were whiteout conditions.  We were a few miles away, and it was 91 degrees.  Nature sure does have a way.  I just wanted to post something beautiful…something that reminded of a time when I wasn’t broken.

I walked nearly 3.5 miles tonight…on purpose.  I’ll be paying for it for days.  But - I wouldn’t trade the company for a pain-free day.  She’s rocks, even though she has it on pretty good authority (and said on pretty good authority) that I am going to hell.  Fuck it - some days, i feel like i’m already there.

Not much to say tonight.  Everyone reading this (all 3 of you right now,)  should go find the song referenced above.  You can listen to the Bill Withers version, which is a little dated, but my personal favorite, or you can listen to a more recent Kelly Clarkson  version that she did live for something.  It’s on Itunes.  Don’t listen to the Patty Griffin version unless it’s the only one you can find.

 It makes me sad - and it makes me want Otis Redding and Ray Charles  alive and back in the recording studio.  And oddly enough - when I listen to this song…it makes me feel like it was written for them…for the masters who came before and paved the way for brilliant music.  I wonder if society would be as fucked up as it is, if Otis was singing “These arms of mine,” on radio stations across the country.

The percocet is starting to kick in.  My bags of ice are waiting.  I doubled up on the percs tonight.  If I don’t go to sleep now - i’ll sleep right through the alarm in the morning - so i’m out.

 Oh - it’s trendy to say “take care of your gums.”  I just want to say the hell with that.  They make blenders..you’ll always be able to eat.

I say “take care of your knees.”  The “rest of your life” lasts a very long time when you’re in pain every day.

-The Stranger

Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all the things
I didn’t do to you
Hate me in ways
Yeah ways hard to swallow
Hate me so you can finally
See what’s good for you.

-Hate me
–Blue October

Ok, this one is gonna be ugly.  I apologize in advance.  I woke up today with a headache that made all historical events in books that you read on Sundays (I’m talking in code.  I can’t say certain words…because then I get served ads about the dude that Awked-way on Auter-way.  Ya get me? EEESUS-Jay. Google went nuts serving ads about the Ible-bay) seem like nothing in comparison.  It was too bright, too noisy.  I could smell my hair burning.  Yeah - you know that smell..it’s like ass, on fire, but different.  Burning Hair.  It must be what happens on the inside when I get migraines.

So Anyway - I stumbled to the doctor and then to Giant Pharmacy (cheap plug)  so i could get my meds.  $12 per pill is awesome.  Gooooooooo America!!!  So, I finished puking, and then I took my pills….and soon, the headache subsided.  Hell yeah it did.  So I moved to the couch, propped myself sideways against some clean laundry, and turned on the TV.  I know what you’re saying…and it goes a little something like this (HIT IT)…

You know…you really shouldn’t  watch TV while laying down. It’s bad for your eyes and not good if you have a headache. It will rot your brain and make you sterile. And TV is bad for you and the radiation makes your eyes turn to jelly and you can never get a boner again and Wahhhhhh Wahhhhhh Wahhhhhhhh.

I get it. But - it was my headache - and my TV, and I wanted to watch something.  I decided on the fucking gem whose promo poster is shown above.  I would like to start by saying - I did not take that picture.  I don’t own it.  I have no rights to it.  I will gladly take it down if someone wants me to.  But i’m guessing that just ain’t gonna happen. Know why?  Because someone would have to take ownership for the miserable piece of shit that said movie turned out to be.  This has been festering in my all day….here goes…

1. Who bankrolled this piece of crap - and why?  Sometimes, I bake.  It takes a long time to bake a cheesecake.  Lots of ingredients and lots of precise mixing and measuring.  If in the midst of cooking it begins to smell like ass….I THROW IT OUT!  I mean - I watched the credits…there WAS an editor.  That means someone was hired to make it less bad that its total badness before they got to cut it up.  Lots of movies never make it out of the studio…why?  Because they suck.  Add this one to the list.
2. Charlize Theron - 2 days in the valley, that coal miner movie - that movie where she looks like Rocky Dennis with the mask(I realize now, this was called monster.) - Hollywood Fucking Confidential.  Her agent should be fired.  She made North Country and Monster - both Award winning/nominated movies.  She can be brilliant and moving.  The only thing this movie moved was my bowels.  Yeah - bowels.  Wanna know why? Because it sucked!


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